


a pool full of chocolate pudding

by celaenos



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Gen, Prompt Fic, Swan Queen Week, Time Travel, seriously ridiculous and slightly cracky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-09 09:30:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4343342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celaenos/pseuds/celaenos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma never listens when Regina tells her not to touch something. So, naturally, she accidentally sends Regina back in time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a pool full of chocolate pudding

**Author's Note:**

> this is kind of utter nonsense, my apologies. but before i shipped swan queen, i kinda wanted regina to take baby emma away from snow and raise her? i thought it would be interesting. then, i stopped thinking that once i realized i'd rather they touch mouths. but i've always still been interested in regina interacting with a young emma/kids in general. so.... yeah. happy swan queen week! where the utterly ridiculous is encouraged.

“Emma, _what did you do_?” Regina hisses through clenched teeth. She looks around and realizes that she is in the middle of a city block. _Not_ in her home in Storybrooke, where she had been a moment ago. Where she had very specifically told Emma _not_ to touch that spell book.

A taxi whizzes past her and Regina moves further onto the sidewalk, taking in the people walking past her in a rush. Many of their clothes are out of fashion. One woman is wearing bright red leggings, and a huge bright red scrunchie in her hair to match. Regina spots another woman supporting some fantastically large shoulder pads.

“I'm going to kill her,” Regina mutters to herself.

…

…

“Oh shit,” Emma says in horror. The place beside her where Regina had been standing only a moment ago is now filled with nothing but air. “She's gonna kill me.”

Emma scrambles to grab the spell book, flipping hurriedly though the pages. Two seconds ago, Regina had been talking about something cute that Henry had done when he was six. With that fond look on her face that she only seemed to reserve for Henry. Or, Emma had noticed, most children. Emma had been thinking again how glad she was that Henry had Regina to take care of him. And how it would have been nice for her to have someone like Regina around when she was little. Her hand had absently been rubbing against the old pages of the spell book. And then, Regina was gone. “Henry!” she yells upstairs. “Come down here and help me!”

He appears at the top of the staircase. “Why can't Mom do it?” he asks, not looking up from his cell phone.

“Well... here's the thing,” Emma starts.

Henry immediately looks up. “Oh, what did you do?”

“You know, it was all very innocent and accidental,” Emma protests. Henry slips his phone into his pocket and takes the stairs two at a time. “We were practicing some spells. Harmless stuff really. And I kinda... well I didn't _mean to._ And, honestly I'm not really sure it—”

“Ma!” Henry interrupts her. “Where's Mom?”

Emma grimaces. “Well... there is a possibility that she is sort of... in the past? Kinda?”

Henry frowns and grabs the book out of Emma's hands, his eyes scanning the page. “Time travel! You time traveled Mom! To where?”

“Well, here's the thing...”

Henry groans. 

…

…

Regina drops the newspaper in a huff. “1993!” she snaps.

“Hey, lady, you gotta pay for that,” the man behind the newspaper stand yells. Regina throws it back at him. He lets out a string of words that normally, Regina would disembowel him for, but today, she merely ignores as she walks further on down the street.

She is in Boston. In 1993. With no magic.

She is going to _kill_ Emma Swan with her bare hands.

“You can't run forever!” a young boys voice yells out from behind her. Regina turns with a frown and sees a small blonde girl sprinting down the sidewalk, puffing wildly. A group of about three boys and two girls chase after her. The tallest boy wears a cruel smirk on his face. “Run Emma run!” he calls out in a teasing, false southern accent. All the other children laugh.

Regina freezes. “No...” she whispers to herself.

The group of children are catching up with the girl. Regina wants to scream. She quickly tries to do the math of Emma's age in her head. How old would she have been in 1993? Surely, this _has_ to be a coincidence? The tiny blonde pumps her legs harder and nearly topples Regina over. Regina reaches out and grabs hold of her arm. Steadying her.

Blind panic flashes through the girl's eyes as she tries to yank herself away. Regina tightens her grip as the other children slow their approach, wary now that a grown up is involved. “Emma,” Regina asks as calmly as possible. “Who are your friends?” she directs her question to the tallest boy, ice in her voice. He gulps. Regina gives him a cruel smirk of her own.

“They're not,” Emma spits out. “Let go of me!”

Regina narrows her eyes at the boy, stepping closer to him. The girl he called Emma stops struggling, curiously looking at Regina. “And your name is?” she asks him. He backs up into the pudgy boy behind him. Regina's eyes flash dangerously. “Get out of here,” she orders them. All of the children turn around and run. Only one boy, a jagged red cut on his face, turns and levels Emma with a glare. It seems to wake the girl up. She yanks herself away from Regina.

“I don't need your help,” she says fiercely. If Regina had any lingering doubts, they're gone now. That's the same stubborn idiotic look that appears on Emma Swan's face.

“Emma Swan?” she asks, just to be sure. The girl tenses up and finally looks at Regina, searching her face for some hint of recognition.

“How do you know my name?” she hisses. “Who are you?”

Regina reaches out and lifts Emma's chin up and to the side. There is a nasty black eye forming, and a cut on her right cheek that's still bleeding lightly. “Regina,” she says, “I hope you gave him that cut on his face.” Emma lets out a small, proud little grin despite herself. She nods. Regina rolls her eyes. “Let's get you cleaned up,” she says, getting a good hold of Emma's hand and gently tugging her down the sidewalk and into a restaurant.

She directs Emma to a booth near the back, the restaurant is far more casual a place than Regina would ever willingly choose to eat in, but, desperate times. Thankfully, she has her wallet in her pants pocket. She orders them glasses of water and dabs a napkin in her own, gently cleaning the cut on Emma's face. The girl flinches from her touch, pressing herself as far away from Regina and into the booth as she can manage.

“How do you know my name?” she asks again after the waiter leaves them some bread and some menus. Every bit of her posture screams distrust. Regina picks up a menu and pretends to glance it over.

“I have magic powers,” she deadpans. “Have you ever had the salad here? Is the lettuce fresh?”

“If you have magic powers, then prove it.” Emma demands.

Regina keeps her gaze on the menu, suddenly hungry. “Your name is Emma Swan, you are a ward of the state. You were found on the side of the road with another child, a seven year old boy, in Maine when you were a baby. You're ten years old. And your parents are Snow White and Prince Charming. They're idiots. Have you had the pasta? Is the marinara sauce made with actual vegetables fresh, or from a can?”

Emma gapes at her. Unsure of what to say, she settles on, “from a can.” Regina tusks and considers picking something else. “Snow White isn't real,” Emma insists after a beat. “Prince Charming too. That's just fairytales. Stories.”

“The Evil Queen is real,” Regina says. “She's sitting right next to you.”

Emma—adorably, Regina is loathe to admit—looks over at the empty space in the booth across from them. Regina waits. Emma turns her attention back to face Regina and frowns. “You?” Regina nods. “You don't look like an evil queen.”

Regina smirks. “Appearances can be deceptive.” The waiter appears, book and pen in hand. “What would you like to eat?” Regina asks Emma.

Emma looks down at her hands. “I don't have any money,” she mumbles.

“My treat dear, pick anything you'd like.” Regina glances at the menu once again. “Not a hot dog. They're toxic.”

Emma glares stubbornly at the menu in front of her, hating being told that she cannot do something. _So,_ _some things_ _never change._ Emma orders boneless buffalo wings instead, triumphant as Regina grimaces but nods to the waiter. She vetoes the soda, ignoring Emma's protests.

“You said anything.”

“Not something that will rot your teeth and offer no nutritional value. Especially not if you're going to be eating _that,_ ” she points to the picture of the buffalo wing special resting on the table. Emma pouts, but doesn't protest any further.

Regina takes a moment to study the girl before her. It's not hard to imagine this scrawny, defiant little thing growing up into the Emma Swan that Regina is familiar with.

Emma looks at her face in the reflection from the napkin dispenser, frowning at the bruise forming around her eye.

“Why were they chasing you?” Regina asks her.

“I thought you had magic powers?” Emma snaps back. Regina smiles; definitely Emma Swan.

“Mind reading isn't in my purview.”

Emma frowns, but doesn't ask Regina to explain the word. “Do you _really_ have magic powers?” she asks, unable to hide the hopefulness in her words.

“They're not exactly working at the moment,” Regina says with an annoyed sigh. “Which is why I'm stuck here.” She is being far more truthful with Emma than she should, but she finds that she doesn't want to lie to the girl.

Emma leans back into the booth, arms crossed. “You don't have any,” she decides. “Magic isn't real. My parents aren't fairytales coming back for me. That's just made up baby stuff. I'm _ten_ , not _five._ ”

The waiter brings Emma's buffalo wings and Regina's pasta. (Nothing else on the menu looked appetizing. She can handle canned vegetables for one afternoon.) Emma starts shoveling food into her mouth so fast that she chokes. Regina snaps at her to slow down, fear in her gut at Emma's little cough and gasp for air. Emma looks sheepish and embarrassed and Regina bites at the inside of her cheek. “You can have as much as you want, don't kill yourself beforehand,” she says, voice as gentle as possible.

Emma nods, and takes another huge bite, getting buffalo sauce all over her face. Regina twirls her pasta delicately and wonders how long she is going to be stuck in 1993 for.

…

…

“I got it!” Emma declares triumphantly. Henry looks up from the book in his hands, and Emma's face falls as she reads further on. “Oh... never mind.”

Henry gets up to make a pot of coffee while Emma knocks her head repeatedly against the spell book.

…

…

“If you're an evil queen, how come you're here and not like... living in a castle and swimming in a pool of chocolate pudding, and making people do whatever you want?”

Regina chews the last bite of her pasta carefully, swallows, then asks, “A pool of chocolate pudding?”

“Yeah!” Emma beams, sauce dripping from her chin. “If I had magic powers, I'd make one. You could swim around and eat at the same time!”

“Glad to know you keep your priorities straight in the future.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing,” Regina wipes at Emma's face with a napkin for the third time. “Finish eating dear.”

…

…

Emma chugs the dregs of her fourth cup of coffee and yelps excitedly. “That's it!” she knocks over another book and scrambles to pick it up. “Henry!” she yells into the kitchen. “I found it! There's a spell to bring her back!”

Henry pokes his head out around the door frame. “Is this one gonna leave her with horns?”

“No, I double checked.”

“Cause she'd probably rather stay in the past,” he says, walking back into the living room with sandwiches. “If you make her come back with a tail, or horns, or purple skin, she's gonna flay you alive.”

“Don't be gross,” Emma grabs a sandwich and takes a large bite. Muffled, she says, “All body parts will remain human and intact.”

Henry looks doubtful.

…

…

“Would you like any desert?” Regina asks. Emma continues wiping at her face, wincing as she presses too hard against her black eye.

“Yes please,” she says. “If you want some.”

“I think I'm going to get the chocolate milkshake.” Regina decides. She doesn't really want it, but she can tell that Emma won't ask for desert unless Regina gets something as well. Emma is all skin and bones. Desert isn't going to hurt her. Regina doesn't know if anyone has offered her a treat in a long time. She frowns at the notion.

“Could I get that,” Emma asks, pointing to a large picture of an Oreo ice cream cake.

“I suppose.” Regina successfully hides her smile behind her water glass as Emma's entire face lights up with joy.

Emma drums her fingers across the table impatiently as they wait for their desert. Regina allows it for a full sixty seconds, then reaches out and covers Emma's hands with her own, stilling them. Emma looks up at her sheepishly. “Sorry.”

“You still haven't said why those other children were chasing you.”

Emma's face darkens. “Cause they're jerks.”

Regina raises an eyebrow and waits for Emma to continue.

Emma huffs and slams her little body back into the booth, refusing to meet Regina's eye. “Cause they hate me!” she bites. “Cause I'm the new kid. Cause my clothes don't fit. Cause I don't have any parents. And I'm little,” she shrugs, as if this shouldn't warrant explanation. “Why's it any of your business?” she snaps. Then softens, remembering her awaiting desert. “I mean, why do you care? I thought you were supposed to be a magic evil queen.”

“That's what people call me. Though, I do have one... I suppose you could call her my friend, who doesn't seem to see me that way.” Regina catches Emma's eye. Despite her anger about being transported through time, because Emma Swan is an imbecile who never listens, she smiles fondly at the thought of her. “You remind me a little bit of her,” she says.

Emma perks up. “Does she have magic powers too?”

“Yes. But she can't control them. She never listens or practices.”

“Well, that stuff's boring.” Emma offers.

Regina fights against rolling her eyes at a ten year old child. Even if it is a ten year old Emma Swan.

Their desert arrives, and Emma tackles her ice cream cake with as much gusto as she had awarded to her buffalo wings. Regina stops trying to wipe her face in between bites, they're only running out of napkins. Instead, she sips her milkshake, and tries to see where this Emma will grow into her Emma. _Older_ Emma. She amends. Not _her_ anything.

This Emma licks her spoon clean and grins up at Regina, so utterly reminiscent of Henry that Regina gasps. “What?” Emma asks. “Is it still all over my face?”

“Yes,” Regina manages to choke out, and passes over another napkin. Emma scrubs at her lips with it, then licks them and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. “Don't do that,” Regina says lightly. “Now you have to wash your hands.”

“Nah.” Emma dips her napkin in the remains of her water glass and swipes at her hands with it. “There!”

Regina does _not_ look at her fondly.

She does stand up, leaving the cash on the table for the waiter, and make her way out of the restaurant. Emma follows behind, her backpack slung over one shoulder, chattering away about what she would do with magic powers of her own, and can Regina make cake appear out of thin air if she wants to?

Regina stops in the middle of the sidewalk, Emma bumping into her legs. “Sorry,” she says.

“Where do you live?” Regina asks.

Emma frowns. “You're a stranger. I'm not telling you that. Even if you did buy me ice cream cake.”

“Smart girl.” Regina inspects Emma's eye again. “When you get home, put ice or a bag of frozen vegetables on that for fifteen minutes. Use a cloth, don't put it directly onto your skin.” She tucks some of Emma's fine hair behind her ear. “And get faster at dodging their fists.”

“I'm pretty fast.” Emma protests.

“You're getting there.”

Emma tilts her head to the side, pondering something. Then she sticks out an arm. “Thanks for the food, even if you are a liar and kind of crazy.”

Regina shakes her sticky little hand, marveling at the light pink spark that shocks them at the contact. Emma gasps, and pulls her hand back. Regina wriggles her eyebrows. “No magic?”

Emma gapes at her, backing away slightly. “No,” she decides. “You're fooling. I don't believe in magic. It's just a trick.”

“Perhaps,” Regina says, shrugging a shoulder. “Run along and start your homework.”

Emma heads off, turning back around every few paces to check and see if Regina is still there. When she's halfway down the block, Regina feels magic swirling around her. Her whole body vibrates slightly, and she is encased in a light purple glow. She watches as Emma's eyes go wide down at the end of the sidewalk, and grins.

…

…

“I did it!” Emma yells happily. Her voice drops low. “You don't see any horns do you kid?”

“Mom,” Henry wraps his arms tightly around Regina's middle. “You're back.”

Regina holds him close, kissing his forehead before gently pushing him away. She turns to Emma. She's no longer ten years old. But she bears the same guilty, embarrassed look that she had sitting across the booth from Regina only an hour ago.

“So... you're okay,” Emma's eyes rove Regina's body. “No horns or a tail. Still light brown skin. Not purple! Which... is awesome! Not that purple skin wouldn't be awesome. Honestly, it could be kinda cool but—”

“Miss Swan,” Regina interrupts. “When I tell you not to touch something, _don't touch it_.”

“I wasn't—” Regina arches an eyebrow, “—well, yeah, I was kind of touching the book a little. But I didn't mean to! Where'd you go anyway? And hey! I figured out how to bring you back! All on my own!”

Henry makes a noise of protest.

“All with Henry's non-magical help!” Emma amends quickly. “So, kinda on my own. Sorta.”

“Is anyone in the mood for some Oreo ice cream cake and buffalo wings?” Regina asks instead of answering Emma. Henry's eyes go wide; a mirror expression of the mini Emma that Regina left back in 1993.

“Really?” he asks. “Awesome!”

Emma's eyebrows pinch together. “Do they even make Oreo ice cream cake anymore? The last time I had it, some lady bought me some after these assholes—” Emma sucks in a breath.

“I'm in the mood for some chocolate pudding as well.” Regina says as she and Henry walk into the kitchen. “Henry, what are your thoughts on pools full of chocolate pudding?”

“Oh _no way!_ ” Emma yells, her voice cracking. “That was _you_!” Regina smiles, ignoring her. “ _Regina_!” Emma yells, chasing after them. “It was an accident! I get ice cream cake too right? _Right!?_ ”

 


End file.
